I feel so much lighter now

I remember how you tasted 

like menthol cigarettes 

and how it was something 

addictive about it. 

I remember how when you called 

me beautiful your voice 

sounded like music. 

I remember how when you told me 

you loved me it sounded like 

you almost meant it.

But now I know 

that I chocked on that love for too long. 

I remember how you tasted 

like acid and how you burned 

all the good in me.

I remember how it felt like heaven 

when you kissed me, 

so I ignored all the times 

you put me through hell.

I remember how you spoke 

like an angel and 

how you acted like the devil.

But now I realize 

that we were wrong for each other. 

I remember how you were my sun 

and how I was tempted 

to follow you into the darkness 

that consumed you.

I remember how your mouth said 

you were staying with me, 

but your eyes always 

said goodbye. 

I remember how every time 

we kissed felt like a broken promise. 

But now I can tell 

that everything was just another lie. 

I remember how we exceeded 

the speed limit to feel 

a rush or anything to replace 

the spark we no longer 

felt when we saw each other.

I remember how we were 

and how we weren't.

I remember how we spoke 

endlessly about everything 

and nothing. 

But now I cannot even remember 

the sound of your voice. 

I remember you.

I remember us.

I remember everything.
I can't stop remembering,
and sometimes it hurts.

But right now the sky is getting prettier 

and when I dance 

I turn the radio up 

and I think one day 

I will listen to my heartbeat 

and your fingerprints 

won't be there any more. 

— m.f. // I feel so much lighter now