About him

Let me tell you about him, about how when I saw him standing there with his thick eyebrows and perfect smile - I knew I had to have him. I thought that I could feel myself falling through the floor for him. It was like he'd removed the atmosphere.

When I heard him laugh for the first time I felt myself unmake, an undescriptible moment where the universe stopped existing, where suddenly there was an explosion that never stopped expanding.

I figured I could never have him. Boys like that, and girls like me? We are tragedies. Our life together is over before it even exists. I lay awake, whispering what I would say to him, trying it out on the mirror. I told myself that it could never happen, and then pictured it happening anyway.

When he looked at me, the summer smiled at me too. We would get so close that our bodies almost touched, only for the moment to stop. This is how happiness must feel like, I thought.

We were staring into each other's eyes, our hands almost touching, he asked, "If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?"

And I turned, keeping enough distance that he could pull away if he wanted to, feeling everything scream at me that I didn't deserve him. "I'll say if you do."

and I kissed him, finally, my hands shaking, the stars behind his head. It was like coming home again. It was the moment everything goes silent. It was the hush of the wind. It was magic. I stopped as soon as I realized what I was doing.

I looked down at him, at the boy I had fallen for, at what I had just ruined. I felt myself panic.

He grabbed me and pulled me closer, kissed me so deep I felt bells ring in my soul that had been silent for too long. He pulled back only a little to say, "I want this," his breath barely a whisper, his lips so pink they matched his blush and my heart racing so hard that I thought an earthquake was in my chest.

"this," he said, "and this, and this, and a forever of us together."

— m.f. // About him