Letter to my ex #4

How are you? Are you feeling well? No, please don't cry. Sit up, get a glass of water, breathe. 

You always told me to do that when I panicked. I hope the tears have stopped and hope your heart is't aching anymore. Are you in love again? If so, does she make you happy? Of course she does, that was silly of me to ask. I hope she treats you right. No, I'm not talking about the butterflies. I'm talking about a beating heart and strong emotions. I hope she's everything you needed because I sure as hell wasn't. Have you found it again? Have you found yourself? You've always been a free soul and I hope life is taking you to new places. I told them that I hope you're happy, and I do. I hope you're happy and I hope you're doing well. I pray for you, every night. Does your car still give you problems? How's your mother? 

Are you all getting along? Smile at her, she loves you. Are your mornings still long? Does the color of coffee still remind you of my eyes? No? It looks like hers, right? The new shade of brown that envelops your mind. Do your parents love her? I hope so. Hopefully they don't make her feel like her love for you is too strong and too wrong. Do you still dream about me? Do I ever haunt you? Does the rain remind you of the days you held me while I cried waterfalls onto your chest? Can you walk into your living room without imaging us dancing in there at midnight? I'm in love, you know. He makes me so happy. I thought I would never be happy after you. He showed me how wrong I was. I think you would like him. In ten years, if I'm getting married, I hope you're in the crowd. I want to look out and see your smile. You won't have to say it, because I know you'll be thinking it. Yes, I'm happy. Yes, I know you're glad I'm happy now. Yes, this could've been you. No, it's okay, it happened for a reason.

I hope you're doing well. 

I can't say much else these days. 

But I hope you're okay. 

Take care of yourself.

— m.f. // Letter to my ex #4