I'm getting tired of this feeling

I'm watching her 
fall in love with him, 
and there's nothing I can do, 
there's nothing I can say. 
I've been trying 
to stop thinking about it, 
but it's hard when 
I'm watching them 
fall in love with each other, 
and people keep asking me 
and asking me 
if I'm okay. 
Why shouldn't I be? 
He isn't mine anymore, right? 
Maybe he never was. 
All I can think now 
is how hopeless everything is.
I want to scream,
this isn't fair,
this isn't fucking fair. 

I want to tell someone 

that I loved him first. 
But at the end 
it doesn't matter, does it? 
So why do I feel like 
the whole world is falling apart? 
Because half of me is saying: 
"just get over it, don't be such a fool", 
and the other half knows that 
you can't just tell your heart what to do. 
It won't matter one day, 
I know it won't. 
So why does it matter 
so damn much right now? 

— m.f. // I'm getting tired of this feeling