The nights like these

The nights like these 

are the ones

where I wrap my arms

around my knees

and wonder if

I could ever hold

myself together

as well as you do

when you pull me

close to you.

There are tears

dripping down 

my cheeks,

everything inside me 

goes cold,

my lungs struggle 

to remind themselves 

how to breathe.

The nights like these

are the ones

where I wish you had met me

in a different life,

one that maybe

I deserved to live.

I feel like anyone but me

would be better suited

to be yours.

The nights like these

are the ones

where I say 

'I love you'

and 'I'm sorry'

endlessly,

because sometimes 

they feel like 

the same thing.

I say them over

and over again.

I'm sorry I love you.

I love you;

I'm sorry.

I try not to think

of what this means.

The nights like these

are the ones

where you say it back,

no apology,

and I still can't help

but to wonder

how much longer

I have until 

you look at me

and see what I see.

The nights like these

are the ones

that hurt the most,

because I never know

how many I have left.

I hold my breath

during the pauses

in between your words.

I never know which

will be your last.

I never know

when you will 

stop coming back.

— m.f. //  The nights like these

Dangerous love

We are all late nights, 
long talks, 
our hearts so full of everything 
we think it might kill us someday 
but we never break, 
only grow. 
We are missed curfews, 
tired eyes drinking in sunrises, 
speeding down the highway going anywhere 
but home. 
We are hickeys on each other's collarbones. 
And no matter how much it hurts, 
we are always coming back for more. 
We are endless nights, 
all cold 
and ache 
and want. 
We are stars so bright they hurt your eyes, 
so bright you can't look away. 
We are beautiful. 
We are young.
We love each other 
breathlessly,
deathlessly.
We have the whole damn world 
grabbed in our fists.
We are never letting go.

— m.f. //  Dangerous love

The real reason

Maybe it was the time

or the place

or other people's opinion.

The lack of communication

or the lack of trust.

Maybe it was just life

throwing love under the bus.

Maybe it was just not then

or not ever.

Maybe we weren't meant

to end up together.

Maybe it wasn't enough

to just sleep with your sweater.

Maybe it was the distance

or the longing

or the lust.

It could have been anything,

but I think it was just us.

— m.f. // The real reason